Fat Shaming... These Feelings Cant Be Real How Do I Deal?

This topic came up today in one of the Facebook Groups that I am am moderator on, and it got me thinking aren't we all guilty of it?? 

Fat Shaming is the practice of shaming a person based on their weight, its a terrible practice and I do not condone it. I was thinking about it while I was plugging along on the treadmill today at the gym? 

After surgery I look at obesity in a completely different light, its a chronic dangerous medical condidtion that kills. It is along the same lines of drug addiction, heart disease etc.. Obesity kills. 

The post that spurred on this discussion was my friend Bella, mentioned that she was at Costco today and someone of  eating pizza and they were over weight and it grossed Bella out. 

I had to admit it but I have been victim of these feelings many times since I had surgery. It is a side of me I do not like but to err is human and I would rather admit these feelings than keep them in. But I am going to be honest and admit that I have them too. 

The other night Friday in fact I was at Buffalo Wild Wings, yes I know such a healthy place. If, you look closely on their menu they have a small grilled wings its grilled chicken cut up w spices on it and you celery and carrots on the side its very good. I saw a woman sitting near my table at the bar she was rather large and she carried her fat where I used to carry mine. I started tearing up and go to my friend Danielle who has known me through fat, thin and then some and I go to her that woman could have been me. I saw her gorging herself eating all the food and I found myself cringing as she ate stuff off her shirt, I saw others staring at her making comments. Some lady goes to me look at her over there and I did not respond. 

Who am I to judge? Or am I judging? 

Did I become Lindsay Lohan in mean girls? Am, I the Mean Girl, the ones I hated in High School. The girls who would stare at me and look at me cause I was fat, the ones at my reunion last year that judged me cause I still was fat?

Was I always going to be the fat girl?

Hayley Morris Caffiero is  a Photographer from the South who was featured in Huffington Post and other National Publications for her emotional, honest and rather amazing work on her weight. She is not a skinny girl, she is fat and did this entire photo exhibit called " Wait Watcher" she took pictures of herself in rather hilarious poses and the reactions of people. Now, I wonder if any of those people that stopped and stared were WLS patients? 

I think her work is provocative, daring and interesting and confronts the issues head on. Shes fantastic and has a great sense of humor about herself. Reminds me of how I dressed and acted when I was over weight Pre Op. I find her inspiring and hilarious at the same time. 

Do I fat Shame? 

I am going to admit it here, now that I am thinner and look normal per say? If, you saw me in a crowd I would be Katie not the fat person. Or would I am be Katie the thin person. People from my past do not recognize me anymore and I am fine with that. 

I did fat shame once, I saw a fat guy and was like OMG hes so fat and I said it outloud my Mom was with me and goes Katie... I expected more from you. I had to catch myself the attention was now off of me and on others. My rolls no longer were coming out of my shirt, my pants no longer too tight. I was an average person walking down the street and under neath it all I was fat in a former life. Now that I am close to goal, I am really feeling it. I see fat people and want to smack them tell them WAKE UP YOUR KILLING YOURSELF YOUR GOING TO DIE YOUR GOING TO GET DIABETES. 

I see people eating bad food who should not be eating it and instead of a glance of one fat person to another as it used to be I now look in utter disgust. They are probabaly thinking who is this skinny bitch commenting on me. Little do they know if they looked closer that skinny bitch has a Med ID alert saying VSG. 

A Very Weight Loss Surgery Thanksgiving

First of all I would love to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving and hope you enjoyed with your family as much as I did. This year was very different for me as my Grandma had passed away and the family we usually spend it was spread out throughout the country but it was wonderful. It was small and lovely. My Mom and Dad and my Dad's sister. 

Thanksgiving was always one of those holidays were I would gorge on food, eat everything and then apologize later. I would go home 

and then worry non stop about how much weight I had put on. The entire cycle would repeat itself year after year until this year for the first time ever. Now I was a nervous wreck and had luckily seen my NUT on Monday and worked out a game plan. It was the same old game over and over. Now finally this year it was different. 

I was actually able to enjoy the holiday! I cooked and spent the entire day before with my Mom and cooked with NO URGE TO eat it was so weird.  

I look like one of those Pinterest bloggers trying to be all perfect. Cracks me up. Because I am such a non cooking type of woman. Anyway the way it worked for my plan was as follows 

Janet my amazing NUT had me do the following 

One Appetizer 

3oz Protein

1/2 veggiees

One tablespoon or stuffing, yams or potatoes ( pick 2) 

It was so easy because I cannot physically eat all the food. 

So I had one stuffed mushroom, three ounces turkey, 1/2 string bean casserole, one tablespoon and one tablespoon yams 

I was laughing because I was unable to get the food down. Janet my NUT had told me you better eat it and enjoy it you have worked hard Katie. 

Well I did eat it and enjoyed every bite of it, I savored the food and listened to my sleeve. 

Well when I was done I was done I finished everything but the yams. My dog enjoyed them...  

Anyway after that was the scary part for me dessert, I used to have a huge sweet tooth and since I had my sleeve my sweet tooth had gone away. But I wanted to enjoy the Low Carb Pumpkin pie I made. I was given permission to have a taste of what I wanted. I did that and I was ok. 

Also it was my parents anniversary and my dear friend Lisa Berman of Bites, Sweets and Treats made my parents this incredible cake. Lisa's brother Andrew is a dear friend of mine from college Bites, Sweets and Treats, she runs with her Aunt Judy. 

I had asked Lisa to make something special for my parents as we had a tough year, I included her link as she is super talented. 

She makes these wonderful custom cakes! All in all a good day 

Six Months 105 Lbs Only 40 More to Go A Reflection

I cannot believe that it has nearly been half a year for me since I started this amazing journey. March 21, 2014 was seminar where I walked in notebook in hand and listened to the doctors speak, tonight for the second time I am going to be that person speaking. I am a shadow of my former self. It is really hard to believe that I am the person looking back into the mirror. 

Six months ago as I was being wheeled into the Operating Theater ( love the way the Brits do it), I did not know what it was going to entail. I did not know what was going to happen or how many lbs I was going to lose, what would become of me. Well I have to say the results are beyond anything I expected. 

May 16 2014 I was being wheeled into surgery and woke up it was pain... I just remember pain.  Below is a picture of me and my friend Jasmin we met at seminar we are completely different people. 

 A total of 175lbs lost between the two of us.  We Both were sleeved by Dr. Maffei. 

WLS has changed my entire life. It has taken a huge weight off of me.