Saving My Life

Friday it will be 8 months ago, Dr M walked into the waiting room w Dr. G and said Mr and Mrs Pojer surgery went great. Katie did wonderful she has a tight sleeve, thank god she had surgery the fat around her liver would mean diabetes and insulin by 31, shes a young woman with her entire life ahead of her.

Eight months ago, I was coming off an operating table groggy and out of it. All I remember is the anesthesiologist going Katie sweetie its over, Katie its over wake up.. As I was moved off the table I breathed in, I looked around disoriented from the medication.

I just wanted my Mom or Dad or Aunt who has an RNY. I just wanted someone from my family. I was in such pain and the nausea started to hit, I propped myself up and tried to vomit. The agony the nurses told me to breathe. I did not want to breathe, I just wanted my Mom.

After realizing what I just did I was in and out of  sleepy for a bit and finally I saw my parents. I was like how did it go, how did it go am I gonna be thin. My dad of course blurts out look pictures from your surgery... LOL the pictures they gave. My Mom was concerned w my vitals and pain control I was like where are my glasses???

Well eight months later I have to say I SAVED MY LIFE! EMBRACED MY LIFE.

I am a different person WLS saved me.

123 Gone 16 to Go Living My Thin Life

I am now thin, I am going to say I AM THIN! I AM HEALTHY I AM NO LONGER MORBIDLY OBESE. 

A mere eight months ago I was 298 lbs going into surgery I am now 176 fifteen lbs to my goal, I am no longer afraid of the scale, I am no longer afraid of shopping. This year I can wear a teeny einsy weeny bikini. 

I am now a healthy woman, healthy! I look in the mirror and I see her the woman I was always supposed to be. The energy is so high I feel amazing! 

Now I am working as a Pharmacy Tech for CVS, I LOVE MY JOB!  It is physical because I am on my feet all day bending moving and stocking. I have been stocking the pharmacy for the past two days. There would have been a time, I would have been exhausted tired and out of breath now I am not. 

Sitting here I was debating on whether to go and speak at seminar tomorrow or now as I am tired and recovering from a sinus infection. I am watching my 600 lb life and I then realized I HAVE TO GO TOMORROW, my life was saved by this surgery. If, I do not share my story whose life wont be saved?

For god sakes I was just put on my Gym's WOW board and share my story. I have worked my ass off, I HAVE A NEW LIFE. Never in my life would I have been a size 10! I am almost there.

A year ago I was 300lbs now I am 176 almost there. 

I thank god every day 

Post Christmas Afternath: The Good, The Ugly and The Taboo

I really hope you all had a great Hoiday! I know that I did, it was wonderful spending time with family, friends and being thin. It was nice not looking at the pictures and hating myself. It was nice being able to move around the kitchen, cooking, doing the dishes without back pain and exhaustion. It was nice not to have my formerly fat ass knock stuff over. It was nice! 

So I am going to talk about my first Post WLS Christmas 

The Good: 

The good was everything that I had been given a second chance at life this year. It was amazing opening clothes from my Mom and knowing that they were going to fit. It was amazing knowing that I might have to return two sweaters to Kohls that I know are going to be too big and a fabulous CK coat in Houndstooth finally a Houndstooth coat. 

Being able to move, I did not realize how much my obesity had not allowed me to move freely around the house, kitchen etc.. After my Mom got sick with her auto immune disease it left me to take care of a lot and I did it all without complaint now. My energy has tripled and watching myself being able to do that is amazing. Also, on Christmas morning moving around cooking and doing laundry its fantastic. 

Eating, it was not hard I knew my parents would ensure they had sleeve friendly foods for me and my Aunt who has a VSG as well. I am happy to report she lost most of her regain. She looks great. It made my life easier. 

The Bad: 

Grandma was not with us this year. So weird to have X mas without my amazing Lala. But she was there in spirit and cooking. Her directions on how to clean and cook will always stay with me. She just missed a really good meal. 

The Taboo: 

Alright here is where I am gonna get down dirty and real! Did I eat cookies YES did I eat cheesecake YES! Did I enjoy it YES I DID! Did it repeat on me? NO WOULD I DO IT AGAIN YES! Was I scared to eat them NO! That is my CHOCOLATE CHEESECAKE! I make it every year its decadent its fattening and damn its good. I worked my ass off to make this cake. 

So here is where the taboo is broken. People assume after WLS you can never have cake again. For the first few months yes you really cannot break plan. But are you allowed on Holidays yes you are! For gods sake its one day a year. I had a sliver of it and I was happy with that. One cookie I was happy with that. In the past it used to be three pieces of cheesecake, six cookies and then once I digested that I would go back for more.  It is TABOO talk to discuss this after WLS. 

I asked my NUT if I can one piece of cheesecake and she goes Katie you are 22lbs from goal you are compliant yes you can. I did and I enjoyed it now onto cleaning my room!

I Stopped Taking Pills But I Take SO Many Vitamins... WHY

This picture below brings fear to most WLS patients eyes. I know for me it does, Vitamins are the bane of my existence. I am going to admit I HATE taking them. No one likes taking them, they make you sick, they taste nasty and most of all their horse pills. I have been through so many Vitamin Regimens since beginning my WLS journey. 

This all starts after seminar when you have your first blood draws ( or at least did it did for me), I was anemic, deficient in Zinc and other stuff. I cannot remember the last time I had taken this many vitamins. 

Now I am only down to calcium and a multi and some other supplement I cannot even remember the name of it, all I know it is orange and helps w my back and inflammation and it does not hurt me. 

Lets use my last blood work as a prime example of vitamins, my Vitamin D was high and they wanted me to stop taking Vitamin D? Well where do I find calcium without it!!! Luckily, my WLS center started to carry Calcium Powder without it. So instead of taking my citracal which I think I bought stock in, I mix this powder into my water bottle twice a day and I get my calcium not a bad deal at least it goes down ok. Anyway now my multi has to be taken three times a day. I do it breakfast lunch and dinner or around then depending on when I can drink. 

Alright after my rant Why do we have to be tortured the rest of our lives? 

Take your Vita Viga Vetamin

So why do we have to take them? Well before we were operated on our stomachs were quite large, I know mine was by the sheer amount of food  I was able to stuff in it. Now, that I am sleeved I am lucky if I get the proper amount of nutrients in. Vitamins are taken as extra support and then ensure that we are ok

Thats all take your vitamins 

The Best Gift You Can Give

I have just had the most amazing 24 hours, last night I was up late as usual and saw this amazing post about a Christmas Elf type of exchange one of my FB friends was doing. I decided this year in honor of my Grandma I wanted to give back to those less fortunate than me. Who am I to complain about it in this life. 
I messaged my friend and she was so happy as this family of siblings had just been added onto the list in this group home. These four siblings want to stay together after the death of their parents. I felt CALLED to do this this year. 
So today I got up and looked at what I had to do, I needed to run errands today. I had tons of clothes I needed to send to the Good Will in my car so I figured I would look there for nice clothes. Well I did great, Target had stuff as did Kohls. This 13 year old girl named Samantha or Emma will get it. Their a team of siblings. 

The tree above pictured is what I have woken up to my entire life on Christmas morning, I am going to admit it now I do not know what it is like to be poor, I do not know what it is like not to have food on the table, I do not know what its like to have no money. Well I personally do but I always have my parents to fall back on. I do not know what its like not to have any clothes. In the scheme of life I have had it pretty easy, I mean I complain if my WIFI does not work right. These are what I like to call first world problems, that most people in the world would kill for.   

As Americans we often do not realize there is poverty in our back yards. There are people every where that seem ok but they are not.  Its terrible that we do not know this. Ever since the economy collapsed many people are dealing w poverty. 

So where do I go from this with myself...
This year my grandma died, I knew her well but learned a lot more about her this year than I ever did. More in death than in life. As I was aiding my aunt in cleaning out her stuff I never realized how much giving she did. In her honor i decided I was going to be the same way. 
And it has been such a blessing to be giving to those less fortunate. 
 HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Holidays and WLS

I really hope you all are enjoying getting ready for Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanza and whatever else you celebrate this time of year. I know that I have a lot to celebrate this year, 114 weight loss, a new lease on life, completing my Masters in Public Health and in January starting my social work degree and a new job starting on the 22nd. 

I have been truly blessed by God and the entire WLS community, I have made so many amazing friends and have expanded my social circle because of this surgery. I am invovled in my local support group and speak at bariatric seminars often. I am truly greatful to my surgeons for giving me this new life. 

This time last year I was fat, miserable and depressed. I was happy with my life but I was really not happy with the person I was about to become. I was a size 24W and teetring on 300lbs. I am now 184 lbs and a size 12/10 and Large in shirts. 

I cannot believe it! I cannot believe the person I have become, I am a shadow of my former self. 

What has really changed for me? 

Lets see I sleep better than ever, I take more vitamins than ever and I still drive the same car :) 

I still love my gritty television shows. 

I still love the gym 

And a facebook addiction 

Now the Holidays...

It used to be so scary when I the holidays came for me in the past because now it meant food. I am not going to be about celebration 

Fat Shaming... These Feelings Cant Be Real How Do I Deal?

This topic came up today in one of the Facebook Groups that I am am moderator on, and it got me thinking aren't we all guilty of it?? 

Fat Shaming is the practice of shaming a person based on their weight, its a terrible practice and I do not condone it. I was thinking about it while I was plugging along on the treadmill today at the gym? 

After surgery I look at obesity in a completely different light, its a chronic dangerous medical condidtion that kills. It is along the same lines of drug addiction, heart disease etc.. Obesity kills. 

The post that spurred on this discussion was my friend Bella, mentioned that she was at Costco today and someone of  eating pizza and they were over weight and it grossed Bella out. 

I had to admit it but I have been victim of these feelings many times since I had surgery. It is a side of me I do not like but to err is human and I would rather admit these feelings than keep them in. But I am going to be honest and admit that I have them too. 

The other night Friday in fact I was at Buffalo Wild Wings, yes I know such a healthy place. If, you look closely on their menu they have a small grilled wings its grilled chicken cut up w spices on it and you celery and carrots on the side its very good. I saw a woman sitting near my table at the bar she was rather large and she carried her fat where I used to carry mine. I started tearing up and go to my friend Danielle who has known me through fat, thin and then some and I go to her that woman could have been me. I saw her gorging herself eating all the food and I found myself cringing as she ate stuff off her shirt, I saw others staring at her making comments. Some lady goes to me look at her over there and I did not respond. 

Who am I to judge? Or am I judging? 

Did I become Lindsay Lohan in mean girls? Am, I the Mean Girl, the ones I hated in High School. The girls who would stare at me and look at me cause I was fat, the ones at my reunion last year that judged me cause I still was fat?

Was I always going to be the fat girl?

Hayley Morris Caffiero is  a Photographer from the South who was featured in Huffington Post and other National Publications for her emotional, honest and rather amazing work on her weight. She is not a skinny girl, she is fat and did this entire photo exhibit called " Wait Watcher" she took pictures of herself in rather hilarious poses and the reactions of people. Now, I wonder if any of those people that stopped and stared were WLS patients? 

I think her work is provocative, daring and interesting and confronts the issues head on. Shes fantastic and has a great sense of humor about herself. Reminds me of how I dressed and acted when I was over weight Pre Op. I find her inspiring and hilarious at the same time. 

Do I fat Shame? 

I am going to admit it here, now that I am thinner and look normal per say? If, you saw me in a crowd I would be Katie not the fat person. Or would I am be Katie the thin person. People from my past do not recognize me anymore and I am fine with that. 

I did fat shame once, I saw a fat guy and was like OMG hes so fat and I said it outloud my Mom was with me and goes Katie... I expected more from you. I had to catch myself the attention was now off of me and on others. My rolls no longer were coming out of my shirt, my pants no longer too tight. I was an average person walking down the street and under neath it all I was fat in a former life. Now that I am close to goal, I am really feeling it. I see fat people and want to smack them tell them WAKE UP YOUR KILLING YOURSELF YOUR GOING TO DIE YOUR GOING TO GET DIABETES. 

I see people eating bad food who should not be eating it and instead of a glance of one fat person to another as it used to be I now look in utter disgust. They are probabaly thinking who is this skinny bitch commenting on me. Little do they know if they looked closer that skinny bitch has a Med ID alert saying VSG.